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Index

Prologue

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

FAQ

Appendix

Aren't you too stupid to have your own website on the internet?

Yes.

What's with the FAQ page? It makes you look like you have too much time.

I DO have too much time. But surprisingly people keep asking me these questions so now I can just refer them here, and if they can't find it then, they're a dumbass and don't deserve an answer.

Why is the first part so short in comparison with the other parts?

The reason the first part is so short is because I didn't decide it was going to be an epic until after I'd written part two. I'll probably go back and completely rewrite part one later.

Why did you write the prologue prior to writing the first parts?

I didn't write the prologue until after part one because I actually didn't intend to write a prologue at all. Richelle and I thought that it would be funny if we did a certain something in part three (the 'the clouds were pink' deal) that couldn't be done unless we had a prologue. Well, it could have been done, but it would have made a lot less sense.

Do you know Angeleena in real life?

I don't know Ange in real life. I needed another character and I thought it would be fun to have her in there. I do know her very well via online and she is one of my few online friends (I am not a total internet nerd).

What the hell is with naming a character 'Big Tall Old Man'?

Big Tall Old Man is called Big Tall Old Man and doesn't have a real name because I didn't know anyone in real life who could really represent Big Tall Old Man. Meaning, I don't know any big, tall, old men. I know of a couple, but Ian McKellan played Gandalf so I pretty much figured he was out and I'm using Richard Harris for a later Larry Potter gig. Possibly. I may use Richard Harris, if I decide to write the Larry Potter thing.

Why have you taken so many lines and things from the movie, but not the book?

This is an exact play off the theatrical version of The Fellowship of the Ring. I've already printed it out and the thing is over fifty pages. If I did a play off the book, we'd be here for years. Also, the movie is a lot easier to steal lines from, and when I started writing, I hadn't finished the book. Though there are a couple of lines which you MAY recognise from the book and a few things that may not make sense if you haven't read the book. But it hardly matters, because the whole thing is nonsensical.

How long will it be until you write the part based off The Two Towers?

Thanks largely to the above, I won't be able to write The Two Towers play off (titled The Two Tourists) until when the next movie is released. Meaning not until December, but most likely January because I'll be a bit busy in December of this year.

Why do you write it in a script style instead of the normal way?

I write it in a script style because it saves time. People don't get confused with my quotation and pronoun usage, and I don't have to spend as much time describing things.

Why is the thing with Big Tall Old Man and Biggest Tallest Oldest Man all bunched together and hastily inserted before The Council of Angeleena?

I know that in the movie, the thing with Gandalf and Saruman is pretty much all spread out but I thought it would be much easier for me to just bunch it all together and stick it into part four.

Will this ruin the surprise of the book or movie?

Yes. This has SPOILERS, meaning if you read it and haven't read the book or seen the movie, you'll pretty much find out what happens. If you want a surprise, I recommend you DON'T READ part five (which is in the works) until you have seen the movie or finished the book. I recommend you do one of these anyway, because if you don't, you'll probably be confused. The humor will be over your head, too, a lot of it. I say if you need to do one of these see the movie because I stole a lot of the lines and plot changes from the movie.

If you like The Fellowship of the Ring so much, why do you write this?

Mel Brooks put it rightly when he was once talking about Spaceballs (a spoof off Star Wars): "You only spoof the thing you love. There's no fun ribbing a bad movie. It's too easy. You have to have a target you respect, one that's big enough to stand up to parody."

Copyright Phoebe Caprona 2002. If you intend to use any content from this website, e-mail me and ask. I DEMAND CREDIT FOR WHAT I HAVE SO PAINSTAKINGLY SLAVED OVER! Some things taken from J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and the movie The Fellowship of the Ring. The mattress tag idea was mine. The four mattress companies (Sealy, Serta, Simmons, Spring Air) are REAL!!!