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Index

Prologue

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

FAQ

Appendix

People

The Fellowship

Phoebe: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the hobbit Frodo Baggins

Big Tall Old Man: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the wizard Gandalf the Grey

Richelle: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the hobbit Samwise Gamgee

Sara Took: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the hobbit Peregrine/Pippin Took

Brandy Merrybuck: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the hobbit Meriadoc/Merry Brandybuck

Striderette/Catlea: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the human Strider/Aragorn

Taylor: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the human Boromir

Val: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the elf Legolas Greenleaf

AJ: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the dwarf Gimli son of Gloin

The Rest

Angeleena/Ange: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the elf Elrond

Austin Powers: The Mattress Tag equivalent of absolutely no one- he just makes a cameo

Balout: The Mattress Tag equivalent of Balin (son of Fundin)

Ballhog: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the Balrog

Bartender: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the bartender Barliman Butterbur at the Prancing Pony

Big Cheese Grotesquely Ugly Creature: The Mattress Tag equivalent of that one Uruk-Hai who seems to lead all the others

Biggest Tallest Oldest Man: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the wizard Saruman

Big Ugly Creature/Phoebe's Uncle Paul: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the cave troll

Biker In Street: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the guy who's scared of the Ringwraiths

Cher: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the creature Gollum

Deep-Voiced Narrator Guy: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the light voiced English woman at the beginning of the movie (who, as we know, is Galadriel... but it doesn't openly say it)

Fundine: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the dwarf Fundin (father of Balin)

Gatekeeper: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the guy at the gates of Bree

Grotesquely Ugly Creatures: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the Uruk-hai

Halduh: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the elf Haldir

Large Slimy Creature: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the large slimy creature outside the Mines of Moria

Luigi: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the Lord of Moria (in the Mattress Tag, it's Mario)

Man At Tollbooth: The Mattress Tag equivalent of no one in particular... he just blocks the Tagwraiths out once

Men In Business Suit With BMW's/Tagwraiths/Nazgula/Dark Mattress Riders: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the Ringwraiths

Moth: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the messenger bird who helps rescue Gandalf

Nikkers: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the lady Galadriel

Old Mattress Salesman: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the hobbit Bilbo Baggins

Random Person: The Mattress Tag equivalent of some random person

Really Ugly Creatures: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the orcs

Sara's Brother: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the hobbit Farmer Maggot, who Merry and Pippin steal crops from

Sauronette/Phoebe's Stepmother: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the Dark Lord Sauron

Serta Executives: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the Ringwraiths

Spring Air Executives: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the dwarves

Simmons Executives: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the elves

Some Random Person: The Mattress Tag equivalent of some other random person

Stacy: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the elf Arwen

Waitress: The Mattress Tag equivalent of... just some woman

Places

Big Tall Old Tower: The Mattress Tag equivalent of Isengard/Orthanc

Bisbee: The Mattress Tag equivalent of Bree

Bordor/Sealy Mattress Factory: The Mattress Tag equivalent of Mordor

Carrothras, Pass Of: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the Pass of Caradhras

Copper Queen Inn: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the Prancing Pony in Bree (in this case it's in Bisbee)

Fourdoor: The Mattress Tag equivalent of Gondor

Mario, Mines Of: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the Mines of Moria

Mattress Firm: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the place where Frodo first gets the ring

Merrybury Ferry: The Mattress Tag equivalent of Bucklebury Ferry

Mothlorien: The Mattress Tag equivalent of Lothlorien

Mount Spring: The Mattress Tag equivalent of Mount Doom

Oro Valley: The Mattress Tag equivalent of the Shire

Rivendeli: The Mattress Tag equivalent of Rivendell

Weatherbottom: The Mattress Tag equivalent of Weathertop or the Old Watchtower

Copyright Phoebe Caprona 2002. If you intend to use any content from this website, e-mail me and ask. I DEMAND CREDIT FOR WHAT I HAVE SO PAINSTAKINGLY SLAVED OVER! Some things taken from J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and the movie The Fellowship of the Ring. The mattress tag idea was mine. The four mattress companies (Sealy, Serta, Simmons, Spring Air) are REAL!!!